2024 has been an exceptionally challenging year for our family. My father has battled Parkinson’s disease for over two decades, and this year, complications arose that affected his well-being. I cherish the ten days I spent with him in the hospital, reflecting on my upbringing. As a father to two young girls, I’ve gained profound appreciation for his influence and the values he instilled in me, both intentionally and subconsciously.
In retrospect, appa was never overly demonstrative. The word that best captures our relationship is “respect.” His vast knowledge spans world affairs, finances, his professional domains, and beyond. Even now, his memory astounds me, defying his condition.
His reverence for the Lord is equally admirable. Twice-daily prayers were our norm. As he would leave the house for work, he would draw a cross on my forehead, a gesture I truly cherished.
Selflessness defines him. Unlike many of his peers, he indulged in nothing for himself. Despite his executive position, he shunned extravagance and materialism. Yet, his generosity knows no bounds. Countless individuals have benefited from his financial support, time, affection, and counsel. This limitless altruism is a quality I deeply revere.
His love manifests in unique ways. He’d surprise me with cases of Coke (admittedly not the healthiest choice) or treat me to shawarma. I remember when he bought me my first computer. He came back from work and drove a long way to get it for me. It was an expensive purchase, yet he did that for me. When my 12th-grade math results fell short, he journeyed to Delhi to champion my cause. Later, he facilitated my Master’s at Columbia University, paving the way for my success. Many would have hesitated, given his numerous fiscal obligations, but he prioritized my future.
His indomitable spirit and refusal to succumb to adversity are truly inspirational. His two-decade struggle with Parkinson’s exemplifies this resilience. While others painted grim scenarios, his optimism fueled his fight, enabling him to embrace life fully, making the most of each day. It’s an area where I falter, and I aspire to emulate his mindset.
Unlike other dads, growing up, appa did not often say that he loved me or give me many hugs and kisses. Nevertheless, he cultivated an environment of unwavering security and unconditional acceptance. His steadfast support never wavered. While the world’s opinions hold little sway over me, his pride remains my constant pursuit, mirroring the pride I hold for him.
Appa stands as one of my greatest blessings, and I consider myself incredibly fortunate. I hope that I can be half the father to my children as he has been to me. Appa, you are loved beyond measure!
A wonderful narration of a loving son to a great father who happened to be my classmate at SB college Changanacherry.
He used to be a role model for all of us then and now
I was especially touched reading this post. I lost my Appa to complications arising from Parkinson’s last year . This is my first Fathers Day without him and it is quite hard. I traveled from the US to Kerala multiple times during the last few years of his life – and I’m so glad I got to do that. He was so extremely active person, who gradually had to spend his days sitting and then completely bed ridden. But he always had a smile on his face through all the pain. I read your post and a few things resonated and so just dropped a note. Take care .
Neena – Thank you for taking the time to read the post and leaving a comment. So sorry for your loss.
Thank you Boben uncle. I will pass on the comments to Appa
Dear Vineet,
Truly, a prodigious, intensely thoughtful, beautifully crafted tribute that has woven a rich tapestry of an elegant portrait that breathes life into an extraordinary journey filled with grace, warmth, empathy.
You have admirably sketched every single facet of the adorable love, and limitless affection — impressive traits of my brother’s uniquely affable character — which I have had the splendid opportunity to savour in abundant measure right from our Wills hostel days, 54 years ago.
My family and I have been no exception to Babu’s boundless goodness, largesse and kindness.
We pray that our dear Lord would continue to shelter Babu in the hollow of His palms, and strengthen him in body and in spirit.