Life as a Dad – My thoughts two weeks into it..

Till about a year back, I could never imagine myself being a father. I was never good with kids. In fact they scared me most of the time. At the same time, I always wanted to have my own child. The thought of  watching a child grow that had had our physical, mental and emotional characteristics always fascinated me.  As Roshan went through the pregnancy period, I dont think it quite hit me that I was going to be a dad. Roshan had a belly and and a never ending appetite, but other than life seemed the same. It was a tumultuous year and maybe that was part of the reason why I did not give the whole fatherhood thingy a lot of thought. I think I really came to grips with it when we started getting the baby’s room ready and went for a class. I was beginning to understand the change that was about to hit us. But even then, I never expected it to be how it turned out.

We decided to name our daughter Gabriella. We went through a lot of names before falling in love with this name. We loved the meaning (God is my might/strength) and also the significance of the name during the Christmas season (Angel Gabriel tells Mary that she would conceive and bear a child named Jesus)

Gaby was born on 12/29/10 at 6:54pm. I was in the Operating Theater with Roshan when the C section was performed. As cliched as it sounds, her first cry really melted our hearts. I have never felt what I felt at that moment. A little later, the doc allowed me to go see Gaby. I could not believe this was she was my own flesh and blood. She was tiny but already had her distinctive features and character. I could see similarities from both Roshan and myself. It was just an amazing feeling. I was so busy looking at her and clicking her pics that the doc had to remind me that my wife was laying there waiting to hear from me about lil Gaby 🙂 Then at the recovery room, I held Gaby for the first time. Even though to that point, I had no clue how to really hold a baby,  I instinctively held her correctly and she felt at home. Its amazing how we think we dont know something and when the time comes, God prepares us for that moment.

Its been 17 days since Gaby was born and the time spent with her has been filled with so many emotions that its hard to describe.. I still haven’t gotten over the awe factor. Everytime Roshan and I look at her, we feel so abundantly blessed and our hearts are filled with joy. Life has been all about the little one. We’ve traded movies, TV, music, singing etc for diaper changing, burping, feeding, bathing and the likes. I thought I would hate changing diapers and all the other responsibilities, but now I look forward to it. Roshan and I sometimes fight over who gets to do it 🙂 We thought we would be teaching Gaby stuff, but from the day she was born, shes been teaching us things. I have a whole new perspective to life and what really matters at the end of the day. Through Gaby, I learned how deep parents love for their child is and that nothing else quite measures up to that unconditional love. I feel so abundantly blessed.

I am glad I had these two weeks with Roshan and Gaby watching Gaby’s every move. I am excited to see what life has in store for the three of us and look forward to showering our child with love (and spankings when she deserves it) and in turn being loved by her.