July 2010 archive

TRUST IN GOD

As a christian, I’ve been taught that faith is a firm belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. I learned this all through Sunday school. I became a Christian when I was 17 at a prayer meeting. I had some sort of an unexplainable experience that I attribute to God talking to me. I became a believer that day, but through the years, my commitment to Christ wavered and my faith is tested constantly. I doubted why God gave me a low score in Math during my XII board exams and he answered me by sending me to Birla Institute of Tech, Ranchi. Had I got a few marks more in Math, I would have done my undergrad somewhere in Kerala as opposed to one of the best institutes in India, and not ever met my wife. I questioned why he sent me rejection letters from lower ranked schools in the US and fought with God, only to find out later that he had saved the best for last- admission to Columbia University – IVY LEAGUE. This trend has continued all through my life and no matter how many times God has come to my rescue, I still harbor doubts when I face a trial.

I write this today more for myself than for anyone else. I am probably in the middle of the roughest patch of my life so far. My father in law, one of the few REAL Christians I have met, is fighting one of the worst forms of cancer. He dedicated the last 12 years of his life to Christ winning souls for His kingdom. Now he is fighting for his own life. My wife is pregnant and instead of these being her happiest days, tears and sorrow are all I see on her face. My mom in law had to lose her younger daughter at the age of 13 to leukemia and now she is watching her husband slowly drifting away. Needless to say, this has been a real test of my faith. I wondered why God is taking me and my dear family through this. I even quit praying for a while because I was angry with God. But then my father in law opened my eyes. The few times he could talk, all he said was TRUST IN GOD. Even in the middle of all the pain and the knowledge that he has cancer, TRUST IN GOD is what he had to tell us. THAT is true faith – “Firm belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence”, not only during the good days but even when the going gets tough. In spite of his condition he knows that God loves him, is watching over him and only has the best in store for him.

We might not understand why God lets certain things happen in our lives, and in the middle of those trials, its only natural to wonder why God has forsaken us. Perhaps God wants to test our faith or perhaps we love something or someone more than we love Him. Irrespective of what the reason is, we need to have BLIND FAITH and BELIEVE that God has the best in store for us and that our God is a loving God. Tonight as I sit here heavy hearted praying for my father in law and typing this post, I feel reassured more than ever that come what may, God loves my father in law more than any of us loves him and irrespective of what his condition be, God is with him. As much as I want my father in law to be healed and continue to pray fervently to God for the same, I will trust blindly that God has the best in store for him and for all of us, whatever the outcome.